O thou, that feely gavest me thy grace, maintain it to the last against its enemies, and make it finally victorious! It came from thee; it has been preserved by thee; it is on thy side, and wholly for thee; without it, I had lived as a beast, and should die more miserably than a beast; it is thine image, which thou lovest; it is a divine nature, and a heavenly beam. What will a soul be without it, but a dungeon of darkness, and dead to holiness and heaven? Without it, who shall plead thy cause against the devil, world, and flesh? Without thy glory, earth is but earth; and without thy grace, earth would be hell. O, rather deny me the light of the sun, than the light of thy countenance! Less miserable had I been without life or being, than without thy grace. Without thine, and my Saviour's help, I can do nothing. I could not pray, or learn, without thee; I never could conquer a temptation without thee; and can I die, nor be prepared to die, without thee? I shall but say as Thomas of Christ, I know not whither my soul is going, and how can I know the way? My Lord, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end. He even commended and rewarded those, that had continued with him in his temptations. Thou lovest fidelity and perseverance in thy servants; and wilt thou forsake a sinner in his extremity, who consents to thy covenant, and would not forsake thee? My God, I have often sinned against thee, but thou knowest I would fain be thine. I can say with Paul, thou art the God, whose I am, and whom I serve; and O that I could serve thee better! To serve thee, is but to receive thy grace, and use it for my own and others good, and thereby please and glorify thee. I have nothing to do in this world, but to seek and serve thee. I have nothing to do with my tongue, but to speak to thee, and for thee, and with my pen but to publish thy glory and thy will. What have I to do with all my reputation, and influence over others, but to increase thy Church, and propagate thy holy truth and service? What have I do do with my remaining time, even these last and languishing hours, but to look up unto thee, and wait for thy grace, and thy salvation? O pardon all my carnal thoughts, all my unthankful treatment of thy grace and love, and all my wilful sins against thy truth and thee! Under the terrors of the law thou didst even proclaim thyself, "The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness, and truth; keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, and transgression, and sin." And is not "the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ" revealed in the Gospel for our more abundant faith and consolation? My God, I know, I can never be sufficiently confident of thy all-sufficient power, wisdom, and goodness. When I have said, "Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? Doth his promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? Hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies?" Conscience has replied, this is my infirmity. I never wanted comfort for want of mercy in thee; but for want of faith and holiness in myself. And hast thou not mercy also to give me that faith and holiness? My God, all is of thee, and through thee, and to thee, and when I have the felicity, the glory of all for ever will be thine. None that trust in thy nature and promise shall be ashamed. If I can live and die trusting in thee, surely I shall not be confounded.
- Richard Baxter (Dying Thoughts, Chapter 5)
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